November 13, 2012

Raising Boy/Girl Twins and Gender Roles

Raising boy/girl twins I have a unique perspective on gender roles.  I am told all the time "Oh, Ben is such a little boy" or "Penny is such a little girl."  What does that even mean?  They are only 16 months.  Sure Penny is beginning to show affinity for all this pink and sparkly and Ben already has the patented male select hearing, but that is such a small part of their personality.  Penny also plays with cars and growls while Ben has the sweetest sing songy voice ever and is constantly trying to get me to put bows in his hair.  Right now they are just Ben and Penny who happen to be a boy and a girl.

I think it will be interesting to see what happens.  They are growing up with boy and girl things all around them.  Although Will and I have pretty "traditional" gender roles in our relationship that is the choice we made.  I in no way plan to put any of that on my kids.  If Ben wants a sewing machine and Penny wants a tool box, I will gladly give it them and encourage them to follow their dreams.  There is so much pressure to do things a specific way and be a certain way.  This is my vow to try my hardest to not only allow my child to be who they are, but also embrace and encourage who they are.  I want them to be happy and be who they truly are.  Their will be so much pressure from society dumped on them, they don't need any from me.

So while I am still going to buy Penny baby dolls and pink dresses I will let her get dirty and play with Ben's trucks.  And slightly more controversially, I plan to buy Ben trucks and action heroes, I will let him carry around Penny's purses. 







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12 comments:

  1. I love this post in so many ways. My husband had a baby doll when he was a young boy that he cared for. Now, he didn't brush its hair or dress it in glittery clothes, but he cared for it. He loved it. I admire his mother (my mother in law - the nanny to my child) for allowing him to do so even though she was scrutinized for allowing him to be "girly." Now, my husband is the most loving and caring husband and father. He takes great care of our real life baby. He changes diapers, gives baths, reads books, lays in the floor and plays.... I often wonder how different he may have been if his mother snuffed out his "girlish tendencies."

    Note - my husband is def a man's man. He loves all things sports & outdoors, but is also very sensitive and musical. Dare I say he's well rounded? Yes, I dare say it!


    Megan, The Mrs
    www.mrsvolnoff.blogspot.com

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  2. I love this post. I sometimes wonder why people say that, they say it to Violet all the time. I am the one who puts bows in her hair, she is only 8 months old. I think you have the right attitude, boys and girls should all play with the same toys regardless.

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    1. Thanks for linking up to Raising Imperfection!
      Leslie
      www.violetimperfection.com

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  3. Great post, Mary! We are pretty gender neutral around here. The boys love to take care of their "babies" and R loves trains and trucks and other "boyish" things. I think the real challenge is teaching them how to deal with the reactions of other people. It's fine with me if the boys wear "girly" clips and such in their hair. But the rest of the world may not be so forgiving and the babes are likely to run into someone who will say unkind things. I have yet to figure out how to deal with that.

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  4. Love this post!! My daughter likes cars and trucks and picks out clothes with them all the time and I say let her be who she is! We put too much emphasis on gender roles in our society, especially at such an early age. I think it's just crazy.

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  5. Omg that face your daughter is making! Priceless. This is such a great post. While we only have Sofia so far, she has all boy cousins and she adores playing with them. She's 13 months, and while she's already loving her dolly and all things sparkly, she loves throwing a kicking a ball even more. She plays with her cousins' trucks and they play in the doll house with her. I agree "gender rolls" are a bunch of bs. Why not let your child play with and do what makes them happy?

    Thanks for sharing this post and linking up to the On My Mind hop :)

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  6. Great post! I agree with all you have said. :) Oh and as always, cute pics!

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  7. I don't have boy girl twins but I totally agree with you! Also, how cute are your kiddos!? Penny's face is too much!

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  8. Very interesting! I never thought about that with boy/girl twins... I have 15 month old boys! But ya, at this age I'm sure they are in no way interested in gender related things... just things in general! :) I found your blog from another! I will follow along!

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  9. Because our b/g twins followed an older brother and sister, we kind of just have 'toys' and we all dig into one box. despite this, my boy twin gets cars and trains and my girl twin gets dolls and bags... it must be inbuilt :)

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  10. Ah twins...several sets in my extended family and this is always a fun topic.

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection. Please come back Friday to see if you were featured! Happy Thanksgiving! :)

    Lanaya
    www.raising-reagan.com

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  11. Love it, and the expression on Penny's face in that last picture is priceless!
    Thanks for linking with Raising Imperfection!

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