I have been pondering doing a post about the transition into being a working mom. It's hard to try and give tips when I feel like I am barely managing. It's hard to give advice when my heart is still at home with my babies. It's hard to find the time when I come home from work and dinner/bath/bed, then sometimes have more work or no energy to do anything. I have been working for 8 months now and still hoping to get the hang of it soon. However there are a few things I have learned along the way.
Be Where You Are
This sounds pretty simple, right? When you are at work be at work, when you are at home be at home. Sadly, this is insanely difficult. We live in an age where we are constantly connected. I have clients calling me at 10 O'clock sometimes. I get texted about work at dinner. It never ends. However I do try my best when I am at home to try and turn work off and if I do have some work I absolutely have to do I make sure it is after bed time.
Let It Go
Right now I am looking around at my house. I have some dinner dishes to do, loads of laundry to finish, toys to put away, the list goes on and on. I tried to do it all for awhile. Clean house, happy babies and a happy boss.... I don't think that exists. Maybe some people can do it, but I am really starting to doubt that. So for me, I prioritized, and that meant letting some stuff go. That meant I had to said goodbye to a clean house. Someday, maybe I will have a clean house again, but until that time I will just love my evenings with precious babies and do my best to let the rest go.
Find the Time
Find the time for you. What do you like to do? Drinks with your friends? Quiet time and a book? Shopping and a mani/pedi? Make sure you take the time to do that. It is important. It is so easy to lose yourself as a mom and when you add work into that equation it is even easier. The more roles you have to fill the less you take time for you. So just make sure to do that.
Ask for Help
This is a hard one for me because I hate feeling like I am a burden and I don't want people to think I am taking advantage of them, however I can not do it all by myself. I am blessed to live close to family and good friends who will help me. I also have an amazing husband who helps me out in so many ways. So don't be afraid to reach out, most people will be happy to help you.
When you figure out how to do this let me know. I know I am doing the best I can but those thoughts always creep in... Is my best good enough? Am I being fair to my kids? Am I letting people down? I put so much on myself and feel bad about it. I know I am not alone in doing this. I know it is not actually true. My kids are happy and loved. I am good at my job. I am doing good at so many things. I will not let those thoughts win. I will not explain my choices to those who disagree or those who judge. All that matter is right here in my delightfully messy house.
So those are my tips. I hope someday to be able to implement them on a consistent basis. But all we can really do is just do our best. Know what you want and what you need and try your best to make them blend together. And on those days when that seems impossible just remember why we do it.