So I was blessed to be able to stay home with my twins for almost the first two year. Recently some life changes and sacrifices for a family goal have put my back in the work place part time. I work 3 days a week. Will has them one day a week and my mom watches them for two, so I know they are happy and being well taken care of, but I miss being a stay at home mom!
That being said, I love my new job! I work with great people. I have a fantastic boss. I work with kids who need love and help. When I'm at work I am happy. I love the interaction and the feeling of helping people. I get to work with kids, but still have some officey organizey stuff. For for me that equals fun + my love for office supplies and organization. This is one of my favorite jobs I've had.
That being said also, I miss staying at home with my babies. I miss all the activities I used to do. I miss all the things I had planned to do with them at this age. 2 is so fun! I miss the spur of the moment picnics. I finally have a backyard for messy art projects. AND it's summer for backyard water fun. I know I still get time with them, even more time than most working moms, but I still feel I'm missing out. Being a stay at home mom was the first time I was truly content. The first time I felt "I'm really good at this and I enjoy this". Now I'm not saying I felt that way everyday, or even most days. Sure there were days I wanted to pull my hair out, but I Loved being home with them.
So here I am loving my new job and really missing being a stay at home mom. I feel like I am trying to pack so much into all of my time. I know I am helping my family in achieving some dreams we have but I still have mixed feelings. At least I like my job. It would be even harder to leave for something I hated.
I know many other mothers struggle with these same problems. Do you have any advice on reconciling these feelings? I am open to what life has to bring and I'm just trying to figure out what life has in store for us.
Here is Penny and Ben swinging at grandma's with the other kids she watches. I may miss them like crazy, but Atleast they have a good time!