Being a stay at home mother I often feel like my life is out of balance. I feel like I am never alone, yet I feel lonely. I feel like I am doing a good job, then a baby decides to get cranky and I am overwhelmed by life. I feel like super mom taking twins out in public managing them and doing good, then after a bad outing I say that I'm not leaving the house by myself with them ever again. I feel like I need to find a balance, but that balance is hard to find sometimes.
Getting through my first year with twins has been difficult, in fact I barely remember the first few months. Now they are almost a year and I am ready to find myself again. I am ready for some hobbies and some me time. Just saying that makes me feel selfish, but that's the culture of today. Mom's are expected to do everything and be in love with it every minute. While I do love being a stay at home mom more than I ever though I would be, but I need more. This blog has been an asset to me. I really enjoy the writing process, it not only gets me thoughts out, but it chronicles our lives. I love looking back at older posts and seeing what I have written and seeing old pictures of the babies. Plus it has introduced me to a community of supportive of women going through exactly the same thing I am.
Another thing I have started doing to help find the balance. The mommy meet up group I'm in has a mommy's night out. One night a month we get out and get drinks and dinner. It is so nice to have some adult conversation (even if all we talk about it the kids).
Also I take nap time as me time. When they go to bed I have dishes, laundry, picking up, cleaning and all those other mommy chores. So I take nap time and I do whatever I feel like, whether I'm writing on my blog and checking facebook or just relaxing and watching tv. It is time for me!
So while I still feel guilty for getting me time (if any mom doesn't have guilt, please tell me how!!) I am finding ways to climb out from under the rock that is trying to figure out life with babies. While I feel like me life won't truly be balanced for awhile, I'm trying to find semblance of a life I live not one where I just get by.
How do you find a balance?