June 28, 2012

Finding the balance

Being a stay at home mother I often feel like my life is out of balance.  I feel like I am never alone, yet I feel lonely.  I feel like I am doing a good job, then a baby decides to get cranky and I am overwhelmed by life.  I feel like super mom taking twins out in public managing them and doing good, then after a bad outing I say that I'm not leaving the house by myself with them ever again.  I feel like I need to find a balance, but that balance is hard to find sometimes.

Getting through my first year with twins has been difficult, in fact I barely remember the first few months.  Now they are almost a year and I am ready to find myself again.  I am ready for some hobbies and some me time.  Just saying that makes me feel selfish, but that's the culture of today.  Mom's are expected to do everything and be in love with it every minute.  While I do love being a stay at home mom more than I ever though I would be, but I need more.  This blog has been an asset to me.  I really enjoy the writing process, it not only gets me thoughts out, but it chronicles our lives.  I love looking back at older posts and seeing what I have written and seeing old pictures of the babies.  Plus it has introduced me to a community of supportive of women going through exactly the same thing I am.

Another thing I have started doing to help find the balance.  The mommy meet up group I'm in has a mommy's night out.  One night a month we get out and get drinks and dinner.  It is so nice to have some adult conversation (even if all we talk about it the kids).

Also I take nap time as me time.  When they go to bed I have dishes, laundry, picking up, cleaning and all those other mommy chores.  So I take nap time and I do whatever I feel like, whether I'm writing on my blog and checking facebook or just relaxing and watching tv.  It is time for me!

So while I still feel guilty for getting me time (if any mom doesn't have guilt, please tell me how!!) I am finding ways to climb out from under the rock that is trying to figure out life with babies.  While I feel like me life won't truly be balanced for awhile, I'm trying to find semblance of a life I live not one where I just get by.

How do you find a balance? 


  1. Twins! What blessings. I can only imagine the ups and downs of the day and how you have to keep everything in balance. You will look back on this blog months, years, decades from now and be so glad you jotted down these honest moments.

    Thanks for joining in!

  2. I know just what you mean about feeling unbalanced as a SAHM! But at the same time, I really admire you for being able to do it with twins--that makes you a SUPER mom!

    Mommy's Night Out sounds like such a refreshing thing. I've only gotten together for baby-free girl time once since Kayleigh was born, but the three of us moms had such a wonderful time. We all nearly laughed til we peed. It was so good for my heart to get to be with other first time moms and see that I'm not crazy. Everyone needs some girl time once in a while :)

    Thanks for being so honest in this post, Mary! I'm encouraged by you, and hope you go to bed tonight knowing that you're doing a great job as a mom!

    ♥ Bethany


  3. Great post...I can relate completely. Blogging has given me a "me" project and motivation to try to be creative as a SAHM. Thanks for stopping by to visit earlier...and good luck if/when you travel with your adorable little ones!

  4. I think I need to organize a Mommy's Night Out sometime soon!

  5. Yes, a Mommy's Night Out sounds like a fabulous idea...!

  6. Hey, hopping over from Toddle Along Tuesday. I love your take on nap time! Glad your able to find "me" time with twins, I can't imagine!! I am also apart of a few Mommy groups and doing a night out each month sounds like a blast!

  7. The Moms' group I joined has helped me find balance too! It's nice to be able to relate to someone in real life.

  8. I think we all have that 'mommy guilt' from time to time. But it sounds like you're doing great - taking time for yourself and engaging in other interests is so important for balance!


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