August 22, 2012

Motherhood: the good the bad and the ugly.

I blog because I like to share my story with other people, and I read blogs because I like to read about how other mothers do it.  I also read them to find a sense of community and feel less alone in being a SAHM, which let's face it can get pretty lonely.  This is the main reason I try my best to blog with honesty.  I blog about the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I think this is important so that other mothers don't feel alone or like they are failures when they have a bad day.

There are many days I go to bed feeling like a failure.  I was not a good enough mother.  I lost my temper with the babies or with Will.  I didn't accomplish what I needed to.  That is honest.  On the other hand there are night I go to sleep feeling like I totally rocked it today.  Most days I just go to bed fulfilled, knowing I tried my best, my babies are happy and I'm pretty good at this whole motherhood things.  And I know for a fact every mother has gone to bed feeling every single one of these feelings plus many more.

I blog about everything and I admit things like this so people don't feel alone.  You are not the only one who sometimes dreads outings because your babies are almost too much to handle.  You are not the only one with a messy house.  You are not the only one trying to do it all and not quite getting it done.  I know I find comfort in blogs like this.  I feel like I'm not alone and I am doing everything I can.  So what if the dishes didn't get done.  So what if I didn't do some creative homemade activity with my babies today.  Honestly they were just as happy with cuddle time and seasame street.

So why is it that when I read blogs or facebook comments about mothers who only report the positive and do nothing but brag about their little ones, does it bother me so much?  I feel when I read those reports that I do not do enough, that I'm not good enough, that my kids deserve better of me.  I know for a fact that those things are not true.  I am a great mother with happy babies.  We do fun things.  We go interesting places.  I generally have a clean(ish) house and dinner on the table.... generally...

So this is just a reminder to those mothers who are struggling.  You are not alone!  I have bad days.  We all do.  I promise you that I will blog about them so that you can know that you are not crazy.  I will blog about the days I want to pull my hair out, but I will also blog about how I think Penny might be a genius because of how quickly she is picking up sign language.  I blog about all of these things because that is motherhood.  All of it is motherhood: the good the bad and the ugly.


14 comments:

  1. I love this. It's so easy to get caught up in reading about those "perfect" lives and feel like you're doing it all wrong. I'm with you...my life is nothing close to glamorous and many days I go to bed frustrated, lonely and exhausted, but it is all worth it in the end!

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  2. Amen sister!! Seriously I love the real blogs that let me peek into their life. The good, the bad and ugly. Sometimes you have bad moments as a mom and I think that's what makes us human. Love this post.

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  3. Haha it's funny cause just yesterday I found and was reading this new blog that I really like...but I swear this girl was perfect. She was gorgeous. Gorgeous style. Her 2 year old dresses trendier than I do. GORGEOUS house and even gorgeous food!!!! So then last night I ended up venting to Alex about how I don't do enough with scarlett, cook enough or dress pretty enough and basically suck :( This post was perfect timing for me. Thanks for sharing! I really love this.

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  4. What a great post. Sometimes it is hard not to be pressured to seem like someone else. We are all trying our best in this world and you are doing a fantastic job!
    Happy Little Feet

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  5. YES! I think it is so easy to only share the stuff that makes us look good but it can be very unhealthy to look at other blogs and compare ourselves to their highlight reel because that's what "perfect life" blogs are, just a highlight reel :)

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  6. Hi,thanks so much for linking up the Mommy Brain mixer! And, thanks so much for your honesty! Love your thoughts!

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  7. It's definitely a balancing act, isn't it?? In my two years of blogging, I have often worried if I am creating a skewed picture of my reality...either too positive or too negative. Ultimately, I've decided to just go with it. Hopefully, it all comes out pretty even in the end--in all its messy, crazy glory!!

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  8. I love your honesty here! I'm stopping by from the Brain mixer and looking forward to following your posts!

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  9. The chaos makes life fun. I am far from perfect, my family is far from perfect, but we're all happy and full of love.

    Oh, and if you ever need a pick-me-up on your parenting skills, just read the post I have about how my not-even-2 year old ordered porn on-demand. It's sure to make anyone feel better.

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  10. I know what you mean, I keep it real on my blog too. :) Most days I stay positive and look on the bright side but if I have a bad day, you can bet I'll be venting on my blog that night!

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  11. Very good point. I fear blogging about the bad days. However, I do it from time to time. There is a lot of things that cross my mind that I don't feel overly comfortable blogging about for the world to see. However, I love your honesty and the fact that you shared your thoughts. :)

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  12. YES! Thank you!
    There are so many blogs out there with these super mommy authors. They always seem to be out and about doing super fun things, making super healthy food, dressed super nicely... it's like, what world do you live in?
    On the other hand... there are also blogs out there that are nothing but complaining, complaining, complaining! I like blogs with a balance.

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  13. This made me smile. I'm already starting to feel the pressures of being a mom and Declan isn't even here yet.

    I have a wonderful friend who is also expecting...she is in her second trimester and already has begun setting up her nursery area. I just now found a changing table today! She has never said a thing to make me feel bad, but I was feeling so discouraged because I have been having to get bits and pieces here and there, you know doing what we can afford at the time.

    So thanks so much for the encouragement! <3

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  14. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I love this post. Honesty in the reality of being a stay at home mom isn't talked about enough I don't think, but it's stinkin hard most days! You are totally right there are days where I also go to bed feeling like I rocked being a Mom that day but more often than not I wake up and the next day humbles me back down to reality :) Being a Mama is tough and it's good to have other sahm to relate with :) Looking forward to getting to know you!

    Whitney

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