The Big Question... How are Penny and Ben Handling the New Baby?

So I would say the number one question I get when people find out we had the baby is "How are Penny and Ben doing with the new baby?"  And to that my answer is "Great!"  They really are doing good being big brother and sister.  They love to hold Judah and help feed him.  They love to bring me diapers and through them away.  They are even really good when I am nursing Judah.  But that is not to say the transition has been seamless.

Penny has gotten really sneaky.  There has been piles of shampoo and handfuls of hand sanitizer.  But the big one was this.

In the bag is Penny's hair.  Will found her behind the curtain with piles of hair.  She said she was trying to cut her curls off.  She later told me Elsa doesn't have and curls so she didn't want any curls.  Oh Frozen... Luckily she just cut some off in the front and just a little in the back, so it actually looks like layers.  She may have a career as a stylist.

Ben has been pretty good, but he has been quick to melt down.  So we are just trying to be patient and explain things as they are happening.  There has also been some potty training regression here, but not too bad. I kind of expected that too.

Overall things have gone smoothly.  Judah is an easy baby so that helps.  I do wish I could give them a little more attention than I can, but newborns do take up a lot of time.  Over all we are settling in nicely to being a family of 5.

Judah's birth story

I already introduced you to the new little guy.  I already shared part of it about my journey to trying to get a VBAC.  That was an uphill battle.  This story is not about that.  This is the story of the day my precious Judah.  This is the birth story of Judah Michael.

Because of the pressure for multiple reasons to have him early I was busy trying all of the labor inducing tricks I heard of.  From essential oils to pumping to long bumpy car rides (honestly I would say for me the the long car ride helped the most.)  The day after the long bumpy car ride I started having contractions.  They started around 7 on Saturday night.  This was actually my due date, October 4th. They were not super strong, but they were staying about 15 minutes apart.  Will was at work so I let him know what I was feeling.  After they lasted for a couple hours I called our doula and let her know I didn't think I was close as all, but I did think I was in labor.  For the rest of the night the contractions stated about 10 - 15 minutes and got a little stronger.

I decided that morning I needed to have my mom come and get the babies.  I believe it should also be noted that our house was a disaster because 2 days prior we had learned the we had a rotted sewer pipe in the foundation on our home, so the had to jackhammer and replace the pipe in the floor of our pantry and the kid's room.  Great thing to have happen two days before your due date.

So back to the story, my mom comes to pick up Penny and Ben and I continue to labor. Now on Sunday the contractions start to slow and get less painful, I even begin to question if I am actually in labor. My doula comes over and we work on some positions. She also had me doing some curb walking, which is just walking around outside one foot one the sidewalk, one foot off. This is actually much harder than it sounds. It helps get baby down. After she left labor gets back on track. So now I was sitting on my birth ball, walking, and trying to relax. 

We tried to go to bed, but by that time contractions are getting worse and coming faster.  So I am in and out of the shower and trying to lay down. Around 12 they are about 4 minutes apart and very strong. I found I really liked to labor in the glider in Penny and Ben's room. Will has been intouch with our doula this whole time. 

Around 1 or 2 I lose all sense of time. I know my doula came over at some point and we labored at home a bit longer. During this time I thought I was pretty far along because I was shaking and even threw up, which tend to be signs of transition. So we decided to go to the hospital. 

The hospital was about 30 minutes away because of the change in providers, so I somehow managed to get in the back of the van to go. I do remember that on the way over we got stopped by a train where I had never been stopped by a train before (of course.)  So we get to the hospital and the ER people panicky and take me on what seemed like a very bumpy ride to the labor and delivery floor.

Once there I was hooked up to the monitor.  My doula had to hold the monitor on my stomach the whole time to keep his heart beat.  Those monitors do not work well for me and Judah!  Then they came in to check me.  I was really unhappy to hear that I was only a 3.  I thought I was going to be so much further along.  So Will and I talked about it, then we asked the doula what she thought.  We decided I would go home and try to labor longer at home.  I knew that if we stayed at the hospital I would have to have that monitor on me all the time.  Meaning it would have to be held on me all the time.  I was going to have internal monitoring, but my water needed to be broken for that, the Dr had a meeting and said he would not break my water until after his meeting was over around 8.  So that meant for 3 hours I would not be able to move and someone would have to hold that monitor on my stomach.  None of that sounded appealing to me.  So I told the hospital staff we were going to head home.  The Dr found us and told us that he thought that was a bad idea.  I explained my choice to him.  He then proceeded to tell me that his heart rate had a slight dip once (one the monitor that needed to be held on) so my baby might die if I went home.  Looking back I am really angry that was said, because it isn't fair.  I really don't think my babies life was in danger, I think the Dr drove to the hospitol at 4 O'Clock in the morning and didn't want it to be for nothing.  Anyway, I decided to stay.  It ended up not being a problem because on the walk to the room my water broke, so the monitoring issue was moot.  

So I get hooked up to the monitors and settle into the hospital room and start the hard work of labor.  I do a lot of side laying.  I was even able to sleep between some contractions.  I spent a lot of time on the birth ball.  It felt really good to do hip circles and things between contractions.  During this time the back labor was getting bad.  I had some heat compresses and had Will or my doula apply pressure during the contractions.

I'm not sure on the timing of things, but I feel like I got to a 7 relatively quickly and 7 to 10 took a long time.  During this time the back labor was almost unbearable.  I actually asked my nurse when no one was around about pain medicine.  She was wonderful and explained that the option I had since even then I did not was an epidural would only be able to help at a certain time and on certain contractions, so it was pretty easy to turn it down.  During this time my doula encouraged me to push just a little if I felt the need, but not push too much.  That helped a little.  I did not want to move at this point.  Everything hurt my back so much.  Side laying and sitting on the edge on the bed with the bed almost straight up and with the end dropped off and the squat bar up were the only positions I wanted to be in, but my doula encouraged me to move a bit.  I begrudgingly did from time to time.

So I was checked and I got to a 10.  I could now "officially" push.  So I started pushing on the edge of the bed with a squat bar.  This seemed to be working.  My doula helped me and Will would help hold me up.  We tried on all 4's on the bed.  My midwife came on to check on my and also encouraged me to try other things.  So I tried squatting on the floor holding onto the bed.  I tried kneeling.  I tried asymmetrical kneeling.  I didn't seem to be getting anyway.  At this time my midwife told me I should not be drinking and hooked me up to fluids.

Later the OB and my Midwife came in and told me they were concerned because I hadn't been making any progress and they were going to give me until 7 (I think, a certain amount of time anyway) to make some kind of progress or less I would need a C-section.  So I tried so hard and pushed as hard as I could.  Also in this time my doula needed to leave so her replacement came, who I was also very comfortable with.  So she suggested I get on the floor on my back and push.  This was actually the most comfortable thing for me because of the crazy intense back labor.  During contractions Will would hold me up and the doula and a nurse would hold me feet and I would push.  I gave it everything I had and push with all my strength.  When the time had passed the OB came in and checked me.  Even with all of that I still made no progress.  He told me it was time to have a c-section.

I was oddly at peace with this.  I had worked so hard, and I was very disappointed, but atleast I was going to meet my baby soon.  I did know that I had tried everything in my power to have a good birth, and I was proud of the way it had happened up until this point.  Will was more disappointed than I was.  He was just as invested in this journey as I was and really wanted me to have the outcome I wanted.  I would say the worst part of this was the hour or so between knowing I was going to have a c-section and having it.  Those contractions were awful because I knew they were for no reason and I just had to deal with them. That sucked!

The c-section itself was just fine, then I heard Judah cry.  No one can describe that feeling.  At 7:48 on October 6th 2014, I gave birth to Judah Michael, a beautiful 8 lbs 5 oz 20" boy.  We were able to have skin-to-skin right there in the in OR.  It was not optimal, but it was important to me.  I remember seeing him for the first time, I was amazed by the amount of hair he had.  When we went into recovery the baby never left my side.  We tried to latch him right away.  We gave him his first bath and had very little intervention with the baby.  We said no to the eye gunk but he did get his vitamin k injections.  It was actually a very positive experience.

My recovery from this c-section was night and day from my last c-section.  I was very aware and able to focus on the beautiful baby in front of me.

So if you made it through this post I think you may deserve a medal, but 48 hours of labor is a lot to write about.  And this is way I can remember the wonderful day I met my baby for the first time.

Happy Halloween!

I hope you all had a fun safe night of trick or treating and spooky fun!

We went to grandma's for a spooky dinner.

Then we went trick or treating.

Judah didn't make it far.

We had a fun Halloween.  Every year is full of a little more fun.

So Happy Halloween from us to you!

My Journey to the VBAC not meant to be

When I got pregnant this time around I knew I wanted to do things differently.  With the twins I think I believed a C-section was inevitable.  I tried for a vaginal birth, but I think I never really believed I could do it.  So when we hit a few hiccups we had a c-section.  I don't think I realized then how much that would follow me around for the rest of my life.  The twins birth story really set the stage for this uphill battle that happened during my pregnancy with Judah.

After having the twins, birth and birth stories became something I really enjoyed learning about.  I did so much research and heard so many birth stories, so when we learned I was pregnant we knew we wanted things to be different.  Mainly I knew I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and I wanted to have a natural birth.  To do this I knew I needed to have a great birth team.  So I started researching OBs and Midwives in my area and I asked the advice of a few like minded people I knew.  I also asked for suggestions for a doula.  I did some interviewing and settled on a birth team that I thought would give me the best shot at the birth I wanted.  I also signed us up for Bradley Method birth classes.

Now I knew going into it that getting a VBAC is not always easy because of the risk of a uterine rupture, although the risk isn't that great, it is a scary thing. So not all providers are on board. I never really thought it would be quite as challenging as it was.

The first part of the pregnancy was smooth sailing.  My provider was super on board.  I was signed up for classes and getting comfortable with our doula.  I had mild morning sickness but felt good.  I was really tired this time around, but such is the life of a pregnant working mother with twin 3 year olds.

Come the second trimester things started to get a little trickier.  I had started my birth classes and things were going good there. Then I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.  This really threw me for a while.  There was tears and calls to my doula and talks with my Bradley teacher.  I was scared what this would mean for the pregnancy I wanted.  So I saw all the specialists, pricked my finger 4 times a day, and watched my carbs and exercised.  Doing all of this my blood sugar was very controlled.  The baby grew at a good rate and I only gained 6 lbs for the whole pregnancy.  So hurdle number one was cleared.

The next hurdle came when the provider at that time told me, out of the blue, that due to my high pregnancy BMI that he wanted me to give birth at 38 weeks.  I would be allowed to VBAC, but I would not be induced.  That was really no choice.  How can you make yourself go into labor before you are ready?  This started a search for a new provider who was more willing and capable of dealing with my circumstances.  I had heard good things about a midwife a about 30 minutes away who used to do home births, but now worked in a hospital.  We went to talk to her and the OB she worked for.  Both of them heard our story and read our files and agreed to take us on and allow me to try.  They were going to let me go till 41 weeks and I instantly loved the midwife, so hurdle number two was cleared.

Part of them agreeing to let me go so far involved non stress tests, where I would be hooked up to monitors and the baby would be monitored.  These happened twice a week.  I always passed, but the baby was always so active it was hard to keep the monitor on him.  Also towards the end of my pregnancy there was some concern the baby might have turned head up so there was a sono scheduled.  At this sono they also decided to measure the baby.  When you measure at that point in the pregnancy (I was 36 or 37 weeks) the measurements can have a 30% margin of error on either side, so they are not super accurate.  The baby was measuring slightly bigger, but because of the margin of error and my Gestational Diabetes, the OB was concerned that I might have a big baby, so he scheduled my c-section.  I was really disappointed with this.  He also decided that instead of nonstress tests I would get weekly sonos to check on the babies.  The next couple sonos measured the baby smaller, so I asked if we could move the c-section date.  He let me, which helped me over come my last hurdle to a VBAC.

I went into labor on my own 2 days after the original c-section was scheduled. The final hurdle to my VBAC was given to my by the baby.  The baby was OP, which meant he was face up.  This involved lots of very painful back labor because he was not positioned correctly.  But I tried.  With out any medication I got to a 10 and I pushed for an hour and a half.  He just wasn't going to come because of his positioning.  So that is when the OB said we should have a c-section.

So no, I did not have the VBAC I tried so hard for, but I am very at peace with Judah's birth experience because I know I did all I could.  From all the steps I took during the pregnancy to the natural labor until that very last minute.  I did everything naturally except push that baby past my pelvis.  But in the end baby Judah got here safely and I have no complaints.  I feel good about all the decisions that were made and that I didn't give up when there were road blocks.  I must also say that this could not have happened with out the support of my doula and my birth teacher.  They were amazing sources of support and knowledge.  I could not have cleared the first couple hurdles with out them.

So my journey to a VBAC may have fallen just short of the goal, but it got me to the end my baby and I needed.  I learned a lot about the birth process and a lot about myself.  Plus the end was with this amazing little guy.  Nothing can be wrong with that.

Introducing Judah Michael

 On October 6th at 7 PM Judah Michael was brought into this world.  He was 8'5 when he was born and 20".  After 48 hours of labor that ended in a c-section I gave birth to our third child.  It was quite a remarkable and amazing experience.  I may not have had the birth I set out to have, but I am completely at peace with what happened and completely in love with the outcome.  I am now enjoying maternity leave.  I am taking my full leave so I will be home until after the holidays, which is amazing.  I would love to stay home, but I'm just not sure that is feasible this time around.  But I am going to soak in every minute of baby cuddles. 

Penny and Ben have been dealing well with the family changes.  They love Judah and always want to hold him.  Penny is being a big helper.  We have had some hiccups and bumps in the road, but we are settling into being a family of 5. 

I plan on sharing his birth story and my breastfeeding journey because both of them have been major learning experiences for me.  There were some major challenges in trying to have a vbac from gestational diabetes to unsupportive providers.  While I may not have had a vbac because little Judah was just in a wrong position and not going to come out that way, I still had a crazy journey through pregnancy trying to get there.

So with out further ado.  Here is Judah Michael.